A Rather Remarkable Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr.
Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons such as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm
and that life isn’t always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting
strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place — reports of a
six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she
spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and lma Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do not.

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~ by thoughtcrime2 on August 8, 2005.

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