Amusing timewaster…

I got this from the presurfer:
Here’s a fun timewaster I discovered on Heidi’s blog, blissfully unaware.

Go to Google and type: "(your first name) needs" and see the results.
These are some of the things Google came up with. The italic type is mine.

Gerard needs a plumber – No I don’t
Gerard needs to offload work in order to get other work done – Yes, sometimes I can be very busy
Gerard needs to read the blogs – But I do, I read a lot of them
Gerard needs a new PC – No, I just bought a new one
Gerard needs to work and pay the bills – I do work and my bills are all payed on time
Gerard needs to be convinced that we need to keep that sign here – OK, you can keep it there
Gerard needs to come to kaschwayland because he’s a sexy mo-fo I could eat him up – Show me the way to kaschhwayland
Gerard needs to learn to sing and not just scream – Ah come on, nobody can hear me when I’m in the bathroom
Gerard needs to take on Caine, and Caine has an army – Ha, Caine’s army doesn’t scare me!
Gerard needs to lose 10 pounds – Another 10 pounds and there won’t be anything left of me
Gerard needs to be sent to his room with no dinner to think about what he’s just done – What? What have I done?
Gerard needs to pay me a visit – How about next Tuesday?
Gerard needs some US$40 million – I’ll settle for $20 million
Gerard needs to make sure that the same thing doesn’t happen again – It won’t happen again, I promise

Now I go to Google and (including quotes) enter "Glen Needs": – my responses italicized and bold…

Glen needs to develop and preserve active or passive recreation and open space. I need some help
Glen needs a new director, he said, adding that the organization also needs to evaluate itself and discuss how a different leadership structure would I mentioned it so that I can apply
Glen needs volunteers who are interested in working to keep our children and our property safe in Park Glen. I been really really busy
GLEN
NEEDS YOU! Huh?!?
Glen
needs to turn on street lighting. Is it my turn already?
Glen
needs a board member who can get a majority of trustees behind her. Okay… I’ll get a haircut
Glen needs a badminton coach. Because no one wants to play me
Glen
needs some friends outside of prison, because soon Glen will be released from prison to begin his new life in the community as a Christian. … must be my evil twin
Glen
needs a two-parent home, possibly as the only child. Because of my evil twin
Glen
Needs a Booster Seat to Sit at the Big Boy Table at Chuckie Cheese. Glen is like 5’2 , So I think Glen needs to get on a Step Ladder ! … actually, I am 6’2"
Glen needs a library that fits in with the community’s appearance,"  just because the community doesn’t like comic books
Glen
needs to drink his over-worked brain into the Stupid Zone. I have a season’s pass…
Glen
needs: monitors, keyboards, mice. CCOC needs: 10 mice, card nic one for laptop,  The more the merrier…
Glen
needs minimal coat management, a bi-annual stripping to maintain the harsh coat, scissoring under the tail as needed, and a good brushing once a week. Make sure you get that spot behind my ears…. uhhhhh
On average it appears a Glen needs stripping every six months. Bath time use to be monthly…
Glen needs to determine, however, the exact steps that are needed to arrange a LAMA institute. The wind keeps blowing the pieces over…

And the list goes on…

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~ by thoughtcrime2 on November 3, 2005.

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