Humor

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

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~ by thoughtcrime2 on September 18, 2007.

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